This is a weekly (sometimes) list of people I am mad at. This is the list for January 12, 2024.
My friend Adrian got mad at me for “ruining” a subplot in the 1998 movie, Patch Adams. He was eight when it came out, and has not found the time to watch it since. This, somehow, is my problem now.
Do you ever open a recipe, read it for a few minutes and scream, “I’M NOT DOING ANY OF THIS SHIT,” before eating sleep for dinner?
Ben Affleck.
People always give me shit about how much I hate Williamsburg but I am currently writing this between meetings at the only coffee shop where I could get a chair: the Le Labo cafe across the street from the Williamsburg Chanel. Why am I having a seven dollar coffee at a perfume store???? This place deserves nothing besides my scorn!!!!!
Actually, Williamsburg has been worse than that because they didn’t have any regular-ass dairy milk so instead I had to have macadamia milk which is fine but the barista did NOT like my rendition of a 2008 Tumblr post I once read titled, “they should actually be calling it nut juice.”
I suppose I am open to hearing arguments that I am the problem and not this entire neighbourhood.
They should make a more accurate version of the Clearblue ads where it’s just me, hunched over a sink, muttering to myself, “Am I the dumbest woman alive??” while I wait for this cursed COVID test to hopefully give me news that doesn’t require me to engage meaningfully with a Supreme Court verdict.
I don’t like pulled pork. Gets in your teeth.
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I hate to say I agree with Big Milk that non dairy products shouldn't be called dairy products. I laughed when I saw a product labeled 'Mylk' but at least that acknowledges it's not milk. This also goes for that mayo that isn't mayo, and eggs that aren't eggs. Isn't there a Truth in Packaging Act somewhere? (First World problems, yes).
I also agree wholeheartedly with #2. And I love the title of your newsletter!