A List Of People I Am Mad At, 4/9/21
This newsletter is a weekly (sometimes) list of people I am mad at. This is the list for April 9, 2021.
Matt Gaetz looks like a 3-D printing of a Crank Yankers puppet that came out wrong.
Apparently Glenn Greenwald ran out of people to yell at so he picked an intern. I imagine she’ll never read this, but for what it’s worth, very early in my career Terrance Corcoran called me an “airhead” and a “moron” on Twitter and then a few years later, he physically hid from me at a party. Now, he is no one. Did you even notice that I spelled his name wrong? Probably not.
Ben Affleck.
Arguing with white people about Sex and the City is always ill-advised.
Looked up a forthcoming novel and whoops, made a Goodreads detour to my own book, no other choice but to slowly cut my own head off using cuticle trimmers.
One nice thing about the pandemic is you can go on Twitter or Instagram or even stand in the middle of traffic and scream, “IS EVERYONE ELSE HAVING A TERRIBLE DAY AND FEELING LIKE ONE MINOR INCONVENIENCE COULD SEND THEM CAREENING OVER THE EDGE INTO THE ABYSS” and there’s always at least ten people who will stick their heads out their windows and reply with, “YES, ABSOLUTELY.” But once people start going back outside, it will somehow become less socially acceptable to talk about brittle we all feel? Seems unfair to me.
I had to buy a bathing suit the other day which means I had to think about my body as opposed to pretending that I am just a boundless, floating, opaque orb, bobbing through the world until the day that I am popped by a rose bush and will disappear into ⁿ ᵒ ᵗ ʰ ᶦ ⁿ ᵍ.
COVID infection rates in Canada are so bad — and the vaccine roll-out is so clumsy — that not one of you fuckers have been able to use the “meanwhile in Canada” meme all year. Normally that would please me; these days, it just makes me mad.
Since we last spoke, I wrote about how Ramona the Pest gave little assholes everywhere hope. I also spent three months chatting with QAnon believers and how they’re moving on (or not). I talked to The Cut Podcast about how being nice sucks.