A List Of People I Am Mad At, 5/3/24
This is a weekly (sometimes) list of people I am mad at. This is the list for May 3, 2024.
Renewed interest in the cowboy aesthetic means this summer’s music festivals will be replete with white girls in turquoise and headdresses again, I fear. If you or your family owns an Indian fabric shop that sells bindis, put them behind the counter and demand ID if someone tries to make a purchase.
My mom called me on the phone the other day to make me listen to her yell at my dad. “This isn’t for you,” she said, “but you have to listen to it.” Then she screamed at him about golf for a while.
Killers of the Flower Moon and Fried Green Tomatoes happen in the same decade. I don’t like that, though I don’t yet know why.
In April, I went to visit my parents, and my dad kept asking me questions about “Monk.” He wanted to know if “Monk is still married to that comedian” and “does she appear in any other programs?” He got angrier and angrier when I said I did not know what Tony Shalhoub was up to. “Not Tony Shalhoub! Monk! She’s very beautiful! She has a long face! WHAT HAPPENED TO MONK??” Turns out he was talking about Olivia Munn. He is mad at me for not knowing that.
Ben Affleck.
I’m starting a new job at Slate in June and I’m worried the editors there aren’t prepared for my first blockbuster story, “Sources Say Men Live Longer If They Give Swarthy Women With Big Teeth And Windowpane Glasses All Of Their Money.”
For New York Times Magazine, I wrote a Letter of Recommendation on Indian Idol. For New York Magazine, I went to the Nicki Minaj show and talked to some Barbz. There’s also plenty of new Scamfluencers episodes for you.
Time to sign up for Slate Plus, I think.