This newsletter is a weekly (sometimes) list of people I am mad at. This is the list for August 26, 2022.
The thing about everyone using reactions on iMessage is that you can’t just let a message sit there and die. Now you have to give a passive aggressive thumbs up to your friend telling you she’s 10 minutes away when you know, for a fact, she is still in Queens.
I haven’t turned my computer off in so long that now a bunch of my apps aren’t working. I won’t start now. I’m not letting Tim Cook win.
It’s really embarrassing that a food package with, say, a pepper on fire, is really enticing to me. I’ll take two.
Ben Affleck. He got married on a plantation! A PLANTATION!!!! Is this really your king??
I’m so fucking tired of feeling hot. Today I blasted myself in the face with the cold setting on my hair dryer just to feel human again.
The people arguing against student loan relief because they paid off their own debts is like saying, “Well, I got my dick jammed in a paper shredder so EVERYONE should have their dick jammed in a paper shredder.
My superpower is not giving a shit about dragon television shows served with a soupçon of rape.
I’m a huge loser but at least I don’t feel bad about murdering the infestation bugs that we are literally supposed to murder.
My dad got COVID and he made my mom quarantine while he got the rest of the house. Just a reminder than First-Born Son Indian Prince Syndrome does indeed extend into one’s early 70s.
I’ve started dating again and you know what, I think it’s going really well.
Since we last talked, I profiled the formidable Jennette McCurdy. Then I wrote about how Pete Davidson should go out with me, as I am the only natural choice. Real whirl of wind over here.
Yes to it all.
good stuff