A List Of People I Am Mad At, 8/27/21

This newsletter is a weekly (sometimes) list of people I am mad at. This is the list for August 27, 2021.

1. It’s maybe an unpopular opinion, but I feel really bad for the guy who decided to try his hand at satire in the Washington Post and instead insulted an entire subcontinent by claiming its food was “based on one spice.” It’s like he bent down to tie his shoes and tripped into doing a wiiiiiiiddle hate speech.

2. Ben Affleck.

3. I got an email from a publicist this week who not only seemed to think that I work for The AV Club, but also thinks my name is spelled “Saatchi.” I just think it’s unfair that I have to learn how to spell and pronounce '“Saoirse” but people still get to confuse me with an advertising agency.

4. I was, for most of the week, having a bit of a meltdown about the fact that Americans don’t call it a garburator, and instead, they call it a “garbage disposal,” which feels both inaccurate and yet oddly expository. To comfort myself, I called my mother and asked her what she calls it. She thought about it for a moment in quiet contemplation, and then just said, “Worm.” She thinks the name for a garburator is “worm.” Not even a worm. Just, worm.

5. I don’t like corn.

6. I’ve started to return to the office which I know is a bit controversial right now but I have been working in the same room in my apartment with my husband for 18 months and earlier this week, he told me I was “sitting down too loudly,” and I just think my risk of getting COVID from work after being vaccinated is lower than my risk of murdering him and being extradited back to Calgary for the trial.

7. Last weekend, my friend’s bag fell and upended, and so I found out that on average, she has a cup and a half of loose rainbow glitter sloshing around the bottom of her purse. The morning after, I had to extract a glitter granule from my cat’s eyeball.

8. Nordstrom is selling Herve Leger bandage dresses at full price.

9. Apparently it’s Nordstrom and not Nordstroms which — you guessed it — is racist against Scaachis and Saatchis.

This week, I wrote about how much Nine Perfect Strangers sucks. Smell ya later.