A List Of People I Am Mad At, 12/01/23

This is a weekly (sometimes) list of people I am mad at. This is the list for December 1, 2023.

1. I’ve been visiting my parents for three weeks while my mom recovers from radiation treatment. Every Monday and Wednesday and Friday, my dad asks me if I want an egg white, and I say no because egg whites taste like erasers, and he always looks at me crestfallen and says, “But it’s egg white day.”

2. I heard an Arcade Fire song in a HelloFresh ad. I am now the oldest woman on the planet.

3. Someone sent me a just-circling-back email 40 minutes after the original email. Take another lap. Go around the block a few more times.

4. Is there a Duolingo for cool Brooklyn therapists? Mine keeps telling me to “feel my feelings” and I thought I was doing that but apparently stress-buying several maxi-length skirts printed with AI images of dinosaurs in bikini tops isn’t what she meant.

5. My dad threatened to die because I told him to let my mom sleep in.

6. Have you ever gone to a pub in suburban Calgary in the middle of the weekday at two in the afternoon? It’s like sitting directly inside a half-smoked Pall Mall.

7. Julianna Margulies. Archie Panjabi tried to tell us!

8. Ben Affleck.

This newsletter is changing. Welcome to Hater Nation.